2.
Schedule Time
Spending quality time
together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a
sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The
activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing
something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between
work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for
your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your
calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each
other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and
death emergency.
3. The Power of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple,
loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the
same for relationships. Playing with your mate ’s hair, rubbing their hand, a
soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will
make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time
you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word,
affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an
affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are
sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater,
quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a
strange look of curiosity the first time!
4. Surprise
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner,
put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional
wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase
the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night
comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is
taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, “I have a surprise
for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats
for tonight ’s performance, ”or “I know we had planned on going to dinner, but
I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one
of your favorite groups in concert. ”The idea of you getting the tickets for
something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch the
heart!
5. Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally
important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves
to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if
you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different,
encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this
very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every
other Friday night is “singles ”night. This is not a time to date other people,
but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in
your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did,
whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.
6.
No Debates
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on
certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican
and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of
you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the
conversation before it even gets started.
7. Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of
talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner
table and the conversation consists of, “Do you like your carrots? ”, or “I
wonder what is on TV tonight? ”Instead, change your strategy to include real
questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, “Did you have a good day
at work? ”with “Tell me what you did at work today. ”Even if you do not
understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are
so much interested in the work, but your mate ’s life.
8. Re-establish Old Traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got
together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work
on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every
Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-
establish the tradition.
9. Predictability
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship,
one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable.
When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If
you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate
sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something
cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in
the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new
flowering plant, and then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate,
stop and give them a soft kiss, say, “I love you, ”and then keep walking. Take
some chances and do the unexpected.
10. Lighten Up
Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots
in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a
tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say.
Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment,
glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which
you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a
mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically
start the process of tension breaking.
Popular post
-
INTRODUCTION Regarding African philosophy, there was much debate whether or not there exists such an entity as could be legitimately ca...
-
Introduction Philosophy is the search for the ultimate truth about reality. It is basically a reflective activity which concerns itself...
-
It was 11: 47pm and the night was cold. Only the chirping insects and rustling leaves helped the atmosphere alive. Few students were in th...
-
History of (UNIZIK), Awka Nnamdi Azikiwe University came into being as an offshoot of the defunct Anambra State University of Technolo...
-
Pursuing a post-graduate degree in Nnamdi Azikiwe University is a smart move if you are aspiring to go up the career ladder...
-
Globalization, no doubt has had positive impacts on Africa, but why the emphasis has been concentrated on the positive aspects of tho...
Post a Comment